It took me four years to finally break free from a dangerously abusive relationship, but I had such a breakthrough, it changed my life forever. If I had the courage and knowledge that I have now, back then, I would have left after the first physical fight.
Being in an abusive relationship can happen to anyone. It doesn’t matter your age, background, or environment. How many times will you ask yourself when enough is enough before you change something?
I’m not saying it’s easy, but you have to tell yourself that breaking free is the only way for things to change. You deserve to be happy and treated with respect.
If you experience any of these signs frequently, design a plan of action and leave, before it gets worse. Because quite frankly, things will not get better.
1. If your partner has a bad temper, because he/she had a bad day, or is stressed and lets it out on you.
2. If your partner drinks a lot, or occasionally drinks, and gets aggressive; it’s a ticking time bomb.
3. If your partner raised his hand against you once, they’ll do it again, And if he/she does it to you, what makes you think, he/she wouldn’t hurt your children (if any) or your pets?
4. If your partner mentally abuses you, like calling you names and putting you down.
5. If your partner tells you what to wear and what not to wear.
6. If your partner picks fights with you, just to be in control.
7. If your partner forces you to have sex and doesn’t take “No” for an answer.
8. If your partner destroys your belongings. Cell phones, laptops, clothes, or passport for example.
9. If your partner is rude to your friends and parents and pressures you not to talk to them about your relationship.
10. If your partner denies that anything ever happened, but promises not to ever do it again.
If some of this sounds familiar, pack your bags, and seek support from your friends and family. If kids are involved, get a restraining order and a lawyer. It’s not just your life that matters, but it’s also the lives of your children. If you are not married and don’t have any kids, you can still file a restraining order. If you don’t have any place to go, you can call the domestic violence hotline 1−800−799−7233 (in the US) for further assistance, help to find shelter and legal help. And if you are in immediate danger in the US, call 911 right away.
